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December 2, 2019
Word of the Week: Release
Back in October, I felt an itch to give my company a fresh look. The biz photos I was using were almost two years old and something told me it was time for an update. While it seemed like a silly thing to prioritize out of the many investments I want to make in my biz, I had a strong intuitive pull to do it.
As I went through my closet to pick out outfits for my photoshoot, I realized that most of what I owned carried baggage:
Jewelry that made me sad.
Hand-me-downs from friends I’ve outgrown.
Memories of when I struggled with an eating disorder.
Overpriced skirts that I bought to fit into the corporate world.
Fancy shirts I didn’t like but kept “just in case.”
Sweaters that made me feel ugly.
Pants that didn’t fit anymore.
Flowy clothes I only wore because I thought that’s what spiritual people did.
Looking around my room, I heard a whisper: EVERYTHING MUST GO.
In that moment, I realized why I felt the urge to do a new photoshoot. It was to propel me into this next evolution of myself. The old Elizabeth had died.
I started tearing through my entire apartment and filling up trash bags of anything and everything that felt heavy: shelves of personal growth books, crystals, makeup, tchotchkes, old gifts from friends, bags of jewelry, greeting cards, and clothes upon clothes upon clothes. Part of me was scared to give all these things away, things that felt like such an integral part of my identity:
What if I need to go back to corporate and have nothing to wear?
Does this mean I am accepting a friendship is over?
Would I still be as spiritual if my desk wasn’t covered in crystals?
Don’t I need these books to tell me how to live a better life?
Would Andrew be mad if he found out I never wore that expensive dress?
Is it stupid to give away perfectly good sweaters?
Would I be letting my grandma down for not keeping all of her necklaces?
On the whole, though, it was liberating. I was suffocating under the weight of all these things that were keeping me stuck in my old life. It was as if all the shedding, releasing, and letting go that was happening in my inner world was finally ready to take hold in my outer world. Sometimes the greatest clarity is found not by learning anything new but by getting rid of the old.
Ask Yourself: What is your relationship to the season of releasing? Do you grip tightly onto things/relationships/identities or do you allow yourself to move through different stages of life? If you made space for the next version of you to shine, how would she be different?
Weekly Mantra: I am making space to grow into who I’m meant to be.